he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I fill condoms, not promises.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
