what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Is Oprah even human
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
