so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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