I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
50% drunk capacity currently
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
