your parents love me but you hate me
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
