i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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