My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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