You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
