I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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