Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
