i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
