Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm both gender and math confused
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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