It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
