I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
