I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
