yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
