y did u give ur computer a hand job?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
