I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
