He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
