remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
