Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
