the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
