Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
