youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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