Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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