Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
