Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize