So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
