so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
