dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
