he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I need a beard to bite.
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