direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
