this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
