There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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