I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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