we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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