Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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