hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I've blown a few things in my day
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
