i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
