i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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