If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize