after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
