What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
