11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
