Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
