just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
