I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
