absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Randomize
