Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
