Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
