I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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