yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
