Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
