there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
