the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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