Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize