This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
