Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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