Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize