Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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