he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize