He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
