Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
