what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
